The Inspire blog

Keeping up with people is hard. Like genuinely hard. Case in point: I hadn’t talked to my friend Anu in months. Life got busy, time moved, and before I knew it we just… hadn’t spoken. I told myself I would reach out and force her to read my blogs lol ( ps turns out she reads all of themmm).

Well I didn’t call her but later that evening, my phone rang.

It was Anu.

Telepathy? Fate? Either way, she called to “check up” and we ended up talking for hours. Catching up, just yapping and laughing the whole time. Shoutout to Anu (consent asked lol) for being one of the most genuine and funniest people I know.

That call was everything. Got me in my head a little too. Because someone asked after my last post: ‘Yeah yeah friends won’t be around forever, but HOW do you keep up with them when life gets busy?’

And honestly? I don’t know why you’d ask me. I’m not an expert at keeping up with people. I’m the person who means to text back and then forgets for three days. I’m the one who thinks about calling but doesn’t because I convince myself I would be bothering them.

Like what if they’re busy? What if I’m disrupting their day? What if they see my name and think ‘ugh not right now‘?

The irony however is… when my friends call me? I always pick up. Always. And we talk for like two hours minimum (don’t ask me how). Now why do I assume they wouldn’t do the same for me?

I used to be more active with keeping up. But after a while, I got tired of being the one always initiating. So I pulled back.

Anu said something on the call that stuck with me. She said: ‘I want to be more intentional this year, so I’m letting you know now…I don’t want this to be a passive friendship.’

I loved that.

As intentional as I strive to be, I’ve let friendships exist in this vague space where we’re ‘cool’ but there’s no real commitment. No ‘I’m choosing you.’ No ‘let’s actually make this work.’ Just vibes and hope.

Unfortunately vibes and hope don’t survive life hitting, jobs, school, moves, time zones, depression, burnout…everything. If you want to keep people, you have to actually keep them. On purpose 🙂

There’s this saying (it’s not cliche, I promise!)…. if you want a village, you have to be a villager. I’ve wanted the village and I’ve shown up… sometimes. When I could. But intentionally? Consistently? That’s the part I’m working on.

I’m no expert but here’s what I’m learning:

Define your relationships. Not everyone is your friend. Some people are acquaintances. Some are seasonal. Some are forever. Know the difference and invest accordingly. And if someone matters to you? Tell them. Out loud. Like Anu did.

Be the one who reaches out. Stop waiting for people to call you. Stop convincing yourself you’re a burden. You’re not. Send the text. Make the call. It takes less than a minute to say ‘thinking about you.’ (Yes I’m talking to myself too).

Intentionality is not just a word. It is showing up when it is inconvenient. It is remembering the thing they told you three weeks ago. It is making time when you don’t have time.

Use what we have. Zoom. FaceTime. Voice notes. We have so many ways to stay connected in the big 2026. There’s no excuse.

Do something. Send them something random. Plan a trip. Start a book club. Join a prayer group together. Do something that makes the friendship more than just texts.

Support their stuff. Like their posts. Read their blogs (side eye 👀). Buy their books. Share their content. Show up for their dreams. It’s free. I’m looking at you.

We live in a world of AI chatbots, infinite scrolling, and a loneliness epidemic. Social media likes don’t replace real friendships. A thousand followers won’t call you when life falls apart.

But your people will. If you let them be your people. And if you show up as theirs.

I’m gonna go text someone I’ve been meaning to text.

You should too. Life is too short 🙂

ps: Anu, if you’re reading this (you have no choice lol), consider this post your flowers 🙂