The Fear Of Being Judged (Overview)

For so long, I’ve put myself in a cage of people’s thoughts. My ideas are stupid! No one else is doing this- were thoughts that ran across my mind every time I had a great idea and every time I wrote a song, I eventually tore the paper and threw it away. I was afraid to do things I loved and had passion for in public because I was afraid of being judged. The fear of judgment stops us from being who we are, who we want to be. Humans are social animals, it is inevitable to care about what others think.

Everyone (including you!) cares about what people think of them, it is natural to be aware of other people’s reactions towards you, but placing too much worry on other people’s thoughts to where it stops you from doing what you love is tragic. Why is it even after thousands of friendly comments on a post, a negative one sticks most? There is no use acting like you don’t care at all (because you do), the most important thing is learning to stop allowing people’s opinions to dictate your life. We learn who we are through the eyes of other people, but we shouldn’t let their thoughts dominate our self-perception (this is where the real problem lies).
Truth be told, if you want to reach your full potential, let go of the fear of people’s opinions. I would like to apply a philosophy by Epictetus called ‘The Sphere of Choice’ here. This philosophy deals with things called internals and externals. Internals are things we can control, externals are things we cannot, and true happiness comes from recognizing the things we cannot control, such as thoughts and opinions of others, reputation, and so on. These things are not within our power. True happiness also comes from focusing mainly on the internals which we have control over. Internals are things like our passions, desires, opinions, reactions, and so on. This philosophy says worrying about things beyond our control is pointless. You get to decide who you are, the things you believe and envision about yourself become your reality, and letting other people come in to influence those beliefs (negatively) is disastrous.

We only live once. What will 92 or 80-year-old you say when you look back at the decisions you’ve made up to that point? Regret is the worst feeling, shatters us from inside. Even worse, life has no rewind button, and that feeling is all you’re left with. Abraham Lincoln said, “The best way to predict your future is to create it”, you cannot create a future from living in a cage of other people’s thoughts. You start when you stop worrying about what you cannot control! Write that blog, post that amazing cover, reach out to that person, make those connections and secure a regret-free future.
Remember, there is power in our words, strong enough to change people’s opinions about themselves for a lifetime. Instead of worrying about the negative opinions of others, help other people shape their minds to have a beautiful vision of themselves, lend a hand by inspiring people to be the best they can by simple words of encouragement or compliments.
It’s a beautiful new month. As you proceed into the month, remember Les Brown’s words “Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.”